Connections
by ss9
Summary: Fallon Carrington had it all. The money to do whatever she wanted. Money, popularity, enough wit to make her fun company oh and yeah she was beautiful too, only she didn't like thinking about where that beauty came from. All her life Fallon had grown up in the shadow of her mother's abandonment, never even thinking the name Alexis Carrington. Until Alexis Carrington was all she had
1. Chapter 1

Fallon Carrington had it all.

The money to do whatever she wanted thanks to her father's brains, lucky streak and hard work, meant that Fallon had always had anything she wanted whenever she wanted it. A new pony for competing - it was there before she even had to work up some fake tears; a new car because the Ferrari Daddy had gotten her just six months ago for her birthday was so last year…

Popularity… Well what girl who could throw lavish parties and hire whatever band she wanted wouldn't be popular?

She was smart, book smart enough that school and college were something of a breeze and Fallon made sure to do enough to coast along, enough to keep her out of trouble and retain the mantle of Daddy's favourite princess. Yet since she never needed to work what was the point in actually working to reach her real potential? She already had everything she needed to get ahead.

Money, popularity, enough wit to make her fun company oh and yeah she was beautiful too…

Not that Fallon really liked to focus much on her looks, sure she enjoyed being attractive, she enjoyed the attention and the power that it gave her over other people but she didn't like thinking about where that beauty came from.

Unlike being proud of flashing her father's cash, he had earned it for her after all; at least that was what Blake Carrington had always said whenever he had a business engagement that had taken him out of town and missing something…a birthday…one of her show jumping competitions.

"I am doing this for you and Steven Fallon, I have to work this hard to make sure you have the future you deserve."

How many times had Blake pulled her younger self on to his knee and explained it in the same tired weary tone that he was going away again, another long business trip that meant he couldn't be there for her or her brother. Yet Fallon knew her Daddy loved her more than anything, why else would he work so hard? Of course it hurt that he wasn't around all the time when they were little but back then they had had…

Taking a deep sip of the champagne Fallon glared down at the glittering city that lay sprawled out before them a frown warping her lovely face. Even Paris at night couldn't lighten her mood whenever a mention of that woman came up. That was the real reason she was out on the balcony drinking alone whilst her friends partied inside oblivious, or maybe they weren't oblivious but maybe just maybe they really didn't give a damn.

Sometimes it was difficult to tell whether her college friends were really her friends at all. Did they actually like her or was it more that they liked what her money and her name could accomplish, like getting them into this damn party in the first place. Even Fallon had considered it quite the coup; after all it was fashion week and there were plenty of socialites with plenty of money floating about. Fallon wondered how many of them would be able to pull off gate crashing the Chanel after party?

It had been fun, a hoot, another night that would live on and be embellished beyond recognition and there quite a few hot men about, most of them were probably gay but they were still hot, it had been great until…

"Carrington…My of course how could I have been so blind you look so like her, beauty clearly runs in the family."

Alexis Carrington, the one name her friends and people in Colorado knew not to mention around anyone named Carrington. The shame and scornful secret that Fallon had kept hidden, the woman she had inherited those fine looks from. The one person Fallon couldn't stand to be compared to, the woman that she had tried so hard to forget since she was nine years old and her beautiful mother had left them behind like unwanted garbage.

Choking back some hysterical laughter as she wiped the angry tears away Fallon couldn't believe the irony. All her life she had grown up under the choking shadow of her mother's abandonment, never even thinking the name Alexis Carrington even though she grew up in a house where every room screamed out her mother's eye and taste. Then on her first day over in Europe on her grand tour, somewhere that should have been free of any association with that damn woman, she runs smack bang into her mother's god damned fan club.

"You know it must be a some sort of a crime for such a beautiful girl to be standing out here alone?" A crisp European accent insisted from the shadows and Fallon gasped her throat constricting with panic as she whirled round.

"Who are you? How long have you been standing there?" Fallon demanded her eyes narrowing as a handsome man stepped into the light, his blue eyes moving appraisingly over her as if she were some sort of prize antique he was assessing for value.

Then smiling in what was a charming fashion Mr Smooth offered her his hand and added in that bizarre lilting accent of his that spoke of Switzerland, and Paris and a deep tan that probably came from St Tropez and too many other places, taking Fallon's hand he lifted it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "My name is Peter De Vilbis and I have been standing here long enough…"

"Long enough for what?" Fallon demanded pulling her hand free quickly yet the champagne left her feeling a little sluggish.

"Long enough to know that here is a beautiful girl who needs my help to make her smile again." Peter added smugly before offering Fallon his hand again. "Trust me…"

There were many many times when Fallon wished she could go back in time…

Sometimes she dreamed she could go back and fix that mistake she made in her junior show jumping class, or on that damn test that meant she almost flunked senior chemistry and for the first and only time ever her father had been brought in to 'talk' to her home room teacher. Perhaps if she had actually bothered to study rather than skipping revision to hang out in the back seat of Bobby Martins brand new Mercedes and experiment a little, then she wouldn't have ever had to seen the look of disappointment that flashed across her father's face.

That look had haunted her; it was the same hollow look that had dogged her father's face in the first few weeks after _she_ had left. Fallon had sworn then that she would never ever be the cause of that look on her father's face again.

Yet if he could see her now…

Right now Fallon wished with all her might, with everything that she had inside her that somehow she could go back in time, back to that night on a Paris balcony, and not accept Peter De Vilbis's offer.

He had made her smile at first, with his heady lifestyle. Only the best for Peter and therefore by association only the best for Fallon by his side and for the first time Fallon had experienced what it must feel like for people who were friends with her. That sudden rush of excitement and adrenaline as she fell in with his wild nomadic lifestyle, days spent on private yachts or travelling to the most beautiful places in the world. Nights spent partying with the worlds beautiful people, gambling in Monte Carlo, dancing the night away in Soho before falling into bed with Peter in the penthouse suite in whichever one of his hotel they happened to be staying in.

Peter never seemed to lack energy or enthusiasm, he did everything with zeal or he didn't touch it with a barge pole and it was exhausting even to watch. Of course Fallon had wondered what his secret was, and one day she asked him how even after a ten hour flight he could find the energy to stay out all night at a party. That was when Peter had introduced her to his best-kept secret, his little chemical pick me up that was how he had phrased it. It wasn't a big deal, every body took something, and for him it was cocaine.

What made it worse looking back was that he hadn't even pressured her into trying it. He simply offered her a line one day when she was feeling a little tired and like a fool she had accepted. Now it seemed like she couldn't even get out of bed without a little help, just something to take the edge off.

No it was a good thing that Blake Carrington couldn't see his little princess now…

Choking back the disgust and the nausea that threatened to overwhelm her Fallon picked her way through the darkened hotel suite making her way to the bathroom without needing to put the lights on. Once there she flicked the switch and the powerful florescent light kicked in lighting up the sumptuous suite yet it was the image staring back in the mirror that caught and held Fallon's attention.

The person that stared back at her, the desperately thin girl with huge bags that sat under her eyes, the one with mascara smeared half way down her face and the tell tale hint of white powder that was smudged under her nose. That girl no longer looked like Alexis Carrington. Finally it seemed too many nights and too many drugs had succeeded where nothing else could, there was no longer any lingering resemblance to the English beauty who had taken Colorado society by storm.

She was cold.

There was a draft from the open balcony window that seemed to cut through the whole suite and since she was naked and too thin it made her shake and shiver.

She needed to get out of here…She needed to stop.

Yet she was so tired and cold and Peter was warm, his bed was warm and he needed her. For the first time someone needed her, someone couldn't bear it if she left and Fallon had had enough people she loved walk away from her that she couldn't stand there and do the same. It wasn't a perfect love but it was love and there were so few people that said they loved her and meant it.

No she couldn't leave and yet she couldn't stay either…

Is this what it feels like to fly?

The night's air felt refreshing on her face, and Fallon couldn't help a little giggle as she leant over the edge and tossed her elegant feathered mask from the courtyard balcony; watching as it drifted down to land in the indoor pond full of ghost carp whose silvery scales seemed to glint and shimmer reflecting the light from the floating lily shaped candles.

Tonight they were in Venice for the carnival at some palazzo owned by some rich middle eastern tycoon, Fallon couldn't remember who, not that it mattered these days all these parties seemed to merge into one. Faces and names meant nothing, not really. Days lost their pattern, lost their meaning; there was little point in anything anymore ever since…

"Get rid of it, I don't care how, I'll have them book you an appointment but we are not keeping it."

There had been no discussion; there had been no room in Peter's eyes for negotiation only cold determination. Not that Fallon had even tried to argue about keeping it, after all how could they raise a child, how could she be a mother when she had barely had a mother herself?

The doctor in the Swiss clinic had been cool and professional, the nurses polite but distant, it had only taken an afternoon and it had all been over. Well physically it was over, the tiny problem had been taken care of and Peter had taken her to his family's villa in Acapulco to allow her time to recuperate. Now a month later they were back on the party scene as if nothing had happened, people she had a nodding acquaintance with commented on her fabulous tan and asked her if she had had a nice holiday.

On the outside Fallon smiled and laughed and partied and on the inside part of her was dying, a slow lingering death. So she tried to speed it along by drinking and snorting some coke and then when some random Italian offered her something else to make the party really spin she had accepted the little tablet, after all what was the worse that could really happen, her heart was already broken. Then the room had seemed to close in a little too much and she had wanted some air, she had tried to find Peter but he had gone missing. Of course when she did eventually find him Fallon wished she hadn't bothered, not that he had noticed her being far too busy banging some Swedish blonde over the pool table.

It seems even Peter moved on eventually…

So much for I love you…So much for don't ever leave, I'll kill us both if you ever try to leave me.

But right now even that threat sounded like a blessed relief, it would save Fallon the task, even if she was far too much of a coward to actually try and kill herself. Eventually the drink and drugs would do that but it might have saved her father that embarrassment. His perfect princess, the little girl he would brag about, the secret disappointment, the child who was too much her mother's daughter after all.

"Fallon I have heard some disturbing reports of your behaviour, you and this Mr De Vilbis. You are bringing our name into disrepute, do you know how embarrassing it was for me, to walk into a charity fundraiser and overhear the Seymour's spreading such slanderous gossip about my little girl. Now I want you to break things off with this young man and come home immediately before you bring my good name into any more scandal."

Blake Carrington her father…her hero…Worried not for her but for his good name…HIS EMBARRASSMENT.

She was just like _her_ a failure, unable to measure up to Blake Carrington's expectations.

Which was how she ended up up here. The party was going on out the back on the terrace but Fallon couldn't stand all the people so she had wandered aimlessly through the Palazzo until she had found this perfect little courtyard with his mosaic tiles and Moorish style. The air was so wonderfully cool here with the long pond and the tinkling fountain and Fallon could breathe here.

So she climbed the staircase and enjoyed the soft breeze that blew in as she leant over the balcony staring down at the shimmering water.

Laughing even though there was nothing to laugh about. Watching as the girl who was her distorted reflection in the water laughed back and waved and smiled. That Fallon seemed happy, that Fallon wasn't a failure. Leaning over Fallon reached out her fingers to the other girl, tears stinging her eyes as the other Fallon seemed to reach for her as well.

Is this what it feels like to fly?

Fallon wondered as the other version of her opened up her arms and called out her name and as blessed blackness took her into its warm embrace and held her lovingly Fallon decided that no this is what peace feels like.


	2. Chapter 2

The breezy smell of the sea was the first real thing that registered.

Blinking open her eyes Fallon quickly shut them again, there was far too much light and it made her head pound like a drum yet the sound of waves crashing against the shore was somewhat soothing and if she concentrated on that then somehow she didn't feel quite so terrible.

None of that helped her figure out where the hell she was.

All she could remember was falling and darkness and coolness and then shouting and feeling safe. Not that her brain would cooperate, before that was masks and people and …Venice they had been in Venice and she had been at a party and Peter…

Groaning Fallon tried to turn on her side as her empty stomach gave a lurch.

Peter had cheated on her with some blond tramp and after that everything was blurry, a complete blank.

"Well is nice to see you are finally awake young lady." A strong Italian accent commented and Fallon turned her head in the direction of the voice. "Now if you will just bear with me whilst we run through a few tests…"

"Where am I?" Fallon demanded her voice sounded dry and raspy even to her own ears yet as weak as it was clearly her companion had heard her because a moment later a straw was placed at her lips.

After taking a few grateful sips Fallon scowled as the straw was pulled away.

"Slowly does it, I'd rather you didn't bring that all up over me, now the tests can you open you eyes? Now I am going to shine a torch into your eyes…"

"Like hell you are." Fallon grunted lifting her arm to try and batter the Italian's light touch away cursing as the damn thing felt like lead.

"This would be over a great deal faster if you co-operated young lady." The Italian doctor muttered with tested patience. "Now the hospital had to put a caste on your right arm to keep the fracture in place, you were very lucky they didn't have to operate to set it properly."

"What happened to me?" Fallon wondered out loud finally opening her eyes and forcing them to focus despite the pounding in her head and the tremors that wracked her too thin frame.

"I came to realise years ago that asking questions like that got me into all sorts of trouble, so now I simply treat my patients when asked and leave my curiosity at the door." The Doctor muttered his dark eyes narrowing on his patient. "I would just be grateful that you are alive and relatively uninjured which considering what came back in your blood work is a minor miracle in itself."

"Yes but where am I?" Fallon repeated. "Did Peter bring me here? What time is it, is he here?"

Shaking his head as he packed away his instruments the doctor glanced at his watch. "It is twenty past four on Wednesday the 14th February and you are a guest at the Villa Florantina on the island of Capri now that is all I know. You were placed in my care five days ago after being treated for you initial injuries at the Ospedale Civile di Venezia at which time a decision was taken to keep you sedated to allow all the toxins that had culminated in your body to be purged, now that is all I know."

"But Peter…"

"I have met nobody called Peter, only Mr Ahmed and his guest; now ask me no more questions. You are lucky to be alive and very fortunate that someone was considerate enough to keep you sedated whilst your body underwent the withdrawal from all those nasty drugs. As of right now you are medically clean of them but psychologically you have a long way to go." And with that pronouncement he picked up his bag and left ignoring Fallon's protests.

Ahmed who the hell was Mr Ahmed?

Her room…was pleasant enough…for a jail cell.

For that was what it was, the door was bolted and she couldn't leave and although she had a beautiful view once she had managed to stagger to the window and used what little strength she had left on the handle it wouldn't budge.

She had her own ensuite, which once she had found Fallon had barely left as the meagre water she had managed to swallow had come back up as the doctor had warned along with what little else remained in her stomach. The dry retching was hard enough but then there were the shakes and the feeling of things crawling beneath her skin.

She needed to get out of here, out of the pretty little room with its soft furnishing, bright sunshine and beautiful view. Fallon needed to get out to find her bag and her emergency supply, just a little hit to take the edge off until Peter came and found her just something to get her thinking clearly.

Yet thoughts of Peter brought back other even less pleasant ones, the memories of the night in Venice came back to taunt her, yet this time they were warped this time, this time instead of ignoring her Peter called out taunts. Cold cruel words that were joined by the voices of others, the people she had cast off throughout her life, the people she had stepped on all ganged up to remind her just how worthless she really was and loudest of all she could hear her father's voice.

"You are such a disappointment Fallon, weak, pathetic, call yourself a Carrington. I am ashamed to call you my daughter, no child of mine would murder their own baby!"

Choking back her sobs Fallon tried to reach out for her Father yet her fingers closed on empty air as he seemed to pull away from her, so instead she settled for pressing her hands to her ears to try and cut off his words.

"Daddy please…I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Fallon pleaded rocking as she tried to placate an irate Blake Carrington. "I'll do better I promise."

"_You disgust me…You're not mine…You just some spawn that my slut of a wife foisted on me…Why don't you just finish it Fallon, why don't you do us both a favour and end this_!"

"NO! DADDY." Fallon screamed out lashing out as she felt hands try and restrain her. "Let me go." Fallon pleaded lashing out with fingernails and elbows as two women in white uniforms tried to force her to the floor. "Daddy help me?"

Yet the image of a scowling Blake Carrington did nothing to help instead he backed away shaking his head. _"You are beyond my help."_ He hissed and Fallon mimicked it when she felt the prick of a needle jab into her arm and a moment later she felt her limbs go all heavy and her stomach roll.

Feeling her go limp the two women finally released her, just in time as Fallon's stomach gave another heave yet she lacked the strength to even lean in the direction of the toilet. Instead this time the foul smelling bile trickled down her chin and slid down her chest, yet Fallon lacked the strength to even lift her leaden arms to wipe it away.

Staring up at her two companions even as their faces blurred due to the meds Fallon could still make out the repulsion on their faces yet if she had any doubt as to their opinions that was so cleared up as one muttered. "Disgustoso."

For a moment Fallon was almost convinced they would happily leave her here slumped in a pool of her own vomit yet clearly they were being paid to at least pretend to care for her. So as one yanked her roughly back into a seated position and Fallon didn't bother to contain her cry of pain as the nurse jolted her broken arm not that she seemed to care. The other muttered under her breath as she reached for a towel and began to clear up the floor before Fallon.

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice hissed from the doorway and the two women started, one dropping the towel the other tightening her grip painfully on Fallon who could only whimper as the room started to spin. "What the hell have you given her?… Cosa diavolo vi hanno dato lei?"

"Qualcosa per rendere la sua calma."

"Calm her she looks practically comatose…Get out…Just get the hell out...Invia… Uscire"

Feeling the tight hand on her arm suddenly let her go Fallon swayed dangerously until a much gentler hand held her steady and for a moment Fallon reacted instinctively, trying to pull away. Yet her new companion was not going anywhere, a warm body settled beside her holding her close; gentle hands stroked her hair from her face before dampening a cloth and using it to clean her face.

"Shush baby…It's alright…You're going to be alright." The voice was low and soothing and familiar and Fallon had no strength left to fight, the sedation in her system had left her too disoriented to think straight let alone resist. It took all of her energy to force her eyes to open; to lift her chin a little to she could gaze up from under her lashes.

Pale and dark and slight and familiar but her brain was so sluggish and the woman's words now seemed to slip and slide into nonsense. Yet for the first time Fallon felt safe, safe enough to let go and let herself slide back into unconsciousness, it was going to be alright…she wasn't all alone.

It was dark when she woke, the curtains were still pulled back and moonlight flooded the room. Yet it was the muffled sound of voices that had woken her, turning her head Fallon strained her ears to try and pick up on the conversation, her Italian wasn't bad but fortunately this conversation was in English so she didn't have to trouble her already throbbing head.

Still the people talking were talking in hushed voices.

There was a woman in a jade green Japanese embroidered silk kimono with her back to Fallon, her face hidden by a cascade of black curls. Past her Fallon could make out an impressively built Arab gentleman, who what he lacked in height more than made up for it in his powerful build, yet it was the gentle almost concerned look on his face that really caught Fallon's attention.

Perhaps this was the Mr Ahmed that the doctor had mentioned; yet for the life of her Fallon couldn't remember ever meeting him before, or couldn't think of any reason why he would want to hold her? Perhaps he was a rival of Peter's? Perhaps he had taken her to punish Peter in some way?

As if her disappearing would actually hurt Peter, dear god Peter would probably sign over one of his hotels right now to be rid of Fallon and her problems. Peter only admired winners; he coveted beauty and class and right now Fallon felt nothing like a winner.

However her luck at least seemed to be changing as her companions had yet to realise she was awake and if she strained her ears she could just make out what they were saying.

"Are you certain you will be alright here by yourselves?"

"Rashid I told you we will be fine…"

"I would still feel better if you agreed to accompany me to Rome or at least to have one of the nurses back. I mean you are a woman of many talents my love but I would never have taken nursemaiding as being one of them?"

It seemed that far from taking offence at his comment the green lady found it terribly amusing, her laughter tinkling like wind chimes as she reached out and stroked his face her amusement growing as Rashid turned and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"Why Rashid you surely aren't worried about poor little me are you, because I would have thought you of all people would know there is nothing I cannot handle?"

"This is not nothing." Rashid answered solemnly his face suddenly serious. "That girl is seriously ill, she needs help…"

"And she will get it." The green lady insisted her honeyed tone containing more than a hint of steel and Fallon couldn't shake off the creeping sense of familiarity. Not with Mr Ahmed but that voice….

"Surely you don't doubt my ability to take care of my own daughter?"

And just like that all the pieces suddenly fitted together in startling clarity and Fallon couldn't contain her own strangled gasp.

"Normally no but…" Rashid stopped and his gaze flickered over to the bed, his dark eyes meeting Fallon's own wide eyes.

Yet Fallon didn't hold his gaze for more than a few seconds, her gaze feeling the automatic pull to the right, to lock with another far more familiar pair of emeralds that glittered with barely suppressed emotions. Whose warmth cooled suddenly as Fallon channelled all her loathing and disgust at that woman.

Finally finding her voice Fallon did nothing to contain the revulsion and contempt for her so called saviour. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Yet if her 'mother' was fazed by Fallon's reaction it didn't show on Alexis's beautiful face, instead a slight smirk tugged at her lips as she drawled sarcastically. "I live here...As for what you are doing here, well after your little spill from Rashid's balcony I did what any mother would do, I took care of you."

And despite all the disbelief that bubbled up and undoubtedly must have shown on her face for once Fallon was stumped to think of a reply.


	3. Chapter 3

"You are such a disappointment."

Tossing in her sleep Fallon tried to push aside her father's words but they just kept coming back louder. It had been so hard to actually fall asleep, the damn craving for just a little coke made her skin seem to burn and crawl, and Fallon had craved the temporary release that sleep would bring yet it seemed even then she wasn't to be granted peace.

"I taught you better Fallon."

Whimpering Fallon tucked herself into a ball, her hands pressed to her ears to try and block Blake out but nothing seemed to be working, it was as though his words could echo in her skull and Fallon raked her fingernails into her hair to try and carve them out.

"I guess blood will out eventually, you are just like her, just as flawed."

Shaking her head Fallon refused to believe it. Her daddy loved her, he loved her, this wasn't him, this was all a dream, a nightmare.

"After everything I did for you, you let me down Fallon."

"NO….NO…" This time Fallon screamed her denial opening her eyes to stare down the apparition that glared her from the corner his dark eyes narrowed in disgust as Blake seemed to tower over her just like he had when she was a child.

"You let that defenceless little baby down, you murdered your own child and I can never forgive you!"

"NO Daddy please…" Fallon pleaded her eyes locked on Blake's face that she didn't even notice the door to her room fly open and a blurry-eyed Alexis enter still pulling on her robe.

"_You are not my daughter, you're not mine!"_

"Daddy please…."

"Fallon sweetheart." Alexis tried to reach out to her daughter, getting on the bed to catch her daughter's hands as she pounded them against her head. "Baby you're hurting yourself." Alexis tried to sooth her but Fallon was far from the room, far from her mother, she didn't even feel the pain as her fingernails broke the skin and drew blood.

"_Pathetic."_ Blake's ghost sneered his disapproval only growing now his ex-wife was in the room.

"Daddy…"

"Blake isn't here Fallon, he isn't here, you have to wake up!" Alexis finally shouted cupping her daughter's face between her palms and forcing Fallon to meet her gaze.

Even through blurry tear stained eyes Fallon could see the concern on her mother's face, could feel the heat and brush of her breath on her skin and the firmness of her touch on her skin. Alexis was real, she was real, she was here but how…

Fallon's memory was sluggish and sleep still clouded her thoughts and for a moment time seemed to have not only stilled but reversed. "Mommy?"

"It's me baby, it's alright it was just a bad dream." Alexis soothed her brushing her hair from her face as she pulled a limp and unresisting Fallon into her arms, rocking her gently.

Lying weakly in her mother's arms Fallon inhaled her perfume her blood stained fingers balling in the silk of her mother's dressing gown as the disjointed memories returned; all in a jumble between the time when she was eight and naive and happy and now. Yet even as the memories, anger and the heartache remained Fallon couldn't find the strength to reject the only comfort she had been offered.

Snuggling deeper into her mother's arms just for tonight Fallon decided she would take what she could get. She wouldn't forgive her mother but as right now her mother was all she had…

Fallon didn't even need to lift her head to the darkest corner of the room; even fully awake she could still feel the weight of her father's gaze and disapproval, whether that be from his apparition or even the real Blake Carrington thousands of miles away. Even if Fallon didn't lift her gaze that couldn't prevent him from his making his displeasure known, not when she could still hear his parting comment echoing in her thoughts.

"Traitor."

"I'm not eating that." The statement was instant the moment the tray was sat down in front of her, yet it wasn't the food in particular that Fallon found distasteful it was the company.

"Why not? I didn't cook it I assure you. I want you to get stronger Fallon and poisoning would somewhat undermine that objective."

"You still touched it."

"I carried the tray from the kitchen."

"You should have had someone else bring it then I might have eaten some of it…"

"Why so you can have another attempt at bribing them?" Alexis asked her tone was deceptively light yet Fallon wasn't going to fall for that, she wasn't eight anymore.

"I don't know what you are talking about…" Fallon began airily only to be cut off by her mother's amused chuckle.

"Please Fallon Paolo came straight to me, in fact I really should thank him, if he hadn't I might never have realised just what you had hidden in your bag; well it's all gone now Fallon, I flushed it down the toilet myself. You won't be putting any more of that poison in your body I won't allow it."

Anger flashed through her. How dare this woman, the woman that had abandoned her all those years ago come back now and tell her how she was to live her own life? Before she had even paused to think it through the plate was in her hand, then it was flying through the air smashing against the wall having missed her surprised Mother by scarcely a few inches.

"You're going to have to clean that up you know…"

"I hate you." Fallon hissed as Alexis locked those penetrating emerald eyes on her. "You have no right to hold me prisoner…When Daddy finds out what you've done…"

"What I've done?" Alexis scoffed. "Let's turn that around Fallon you're the one being a brat here, clearly your father's solution of giving into your every whim instead of parenting continued after I left turning you into a spoiled little girl and I've just about had enough of it, why don't you try a little gratitude on for size?"

Gratitude? The very idea stunned Fallon to silence for a moment. "For what walking out on me? For abandoning me for twelve years?"

"No for scraping your broken body out of a damn fountain before you drowned…For getting you the medical attention you needed and for putting my life on hold to try and sort out the pitiful mess you have made of yours! That is more than the sainted Blake can claim Fallon, he has had months to intervene before you got so high you actually thought it was a good idea to go jumping off of balconies…" Pausing Alexis took a breath watching as her daughter immediately tried to jump to her father's defence.

"Don't you talk about my father, he would have been here, he would have been better than you, but he doesn't know…I hid it from him and…"

"Oh please Fallon don't kid a kidder." Alexis scoffed. "I used to say the same thing when I used to cry myself to sleep every time Blake left to go on one of his business trips. I used to pretend it was only because he didn't realise how deeply it hurt me every time he ignored me and lavished attention on that damn company. Finally I came to realise Blake did knew he just didn't give a damn."

"Maybe he didn't give a damn about you but Daddy loves me!" Fallon retorted smugly, her assurance slipping slightly as her mother continued to look at her sadly.

"Loves you so much he didn't even realise his beloved daughter is nothing more than a junky? And how could he fail to notice that Fallon, I mean five minutes at that party and I knew it across a crowded room and De Vilbis's reputation preceded him. No the only reason Blake doesn't know is that he's been so wrapped up in his own life that coming across to Europe to actually sort you out himself would take him away his true love, Denver Carrington. Blake doesn't know because he doesn't want to know, he's burying his head in the sand because that easier for him!"

"You're lying."

"Am I?" Alexis posed the question her emerald eyes twinkling knowingly. "Well there is one way to prove me wrong I suppose why don't we call daddy darling and find out?"

"No." There was no hiding the very real fear in Fallon's voice. "You can't do that…"

"Don't want Daddy to find up what you have really been up to in Europe?" Alexis finished knowingly. "Useful…"

"Why useful?" Fallon asked hesitantly watching as her mother crossed the room, reaching out to catch her daughter's chin between her thumb and finger.

Smirking Alexis's smile only grew as Fallon scrabbled backward on her bed in an attempt to escape her mother. "Even as a child you were stubborn Fallon, and with Blake indulging you the way he did I often had to find unique ways to motivate good behaviour…This time the deal is simple, from now on you stop fighting me every single step, you eat your food when it is brought no matter who brings it and you agree to talk to someone…"

"I am not seeing a shrink!" Fallon hissed. "I am not crazy."

"You will talk to someone, or…"

"Or what?" Fallon whispered watching as her mother's eyes glinted dangerously, her full lips pulled wide in a smile.

"Or I will place a call to Denver and enlighten your father."

The view was rather spectacular, Fallon wasn't so jaded by life that she couldn't appreciate the aesthetic qualities of her surroundings and now she was actually permitted to wander through the villa's small winding gardens, albeit with a chaperone dogging her steps, there were moments when she was able to actually forget why she was here and just enjoy the moment. However those moments were fleeting, the memories always returned to haunt her even if her father's apparition no longer did.

Her headshrinker called that progress.

Progress… Fallon scoffed to herself…Progress would be getting the hell out of this pretty prison, for that was what it really was, a pretty opulent prison and she their resentful jailbird.

"Only you could be so sour on a day like this." An amused voice tittered and it was a measure of just how bored Fallon was that instead of turning and fleeing on principle instead she followed the sound of her mother's voice finding herself suddenly on a terrace that dropped off all the way down to the ocean with only a delicate looking railing as a safety precaution.

"I wouldn't recommend that as a potential escape route." Alexis added her emerald eyes watching her daughter closely. "Not unless you have developed a capacity for rock diving that I am unaware of?"

"I have many talents that you would be unaware of considering you walked out on me." Fallon sniffed her blue eyes narrowing in annoyance at her mother who hadn't even paused in her work, the steady brush strokes both a soothing and disturbing reminder of a childhood Fallon had done her level best to forget.

"Yet your talent for sulking is still as developed as ever I see." Alexis countered sharply setting down her brush and glaring at her canvas as though it had been the one to offend her and not Fallon.

"No that won't do at all…I am missing something." Alexis tutted mainly to herself, turning around to pick up her tea cup, scowling at the now tepid liquid when she took a sip. "I always loose track of time…Did you want something Fallon or…"

"It needs more yellow." Fallon wasn't sure what made her say it; she really didn't care about her mother's stupid painting but it was easier to talk about that then let her mother bait her into another conversation about Peter or Blake or any of the other things she had no interest in talking about with her mother.

"You're right." The surprise was evident in Alexis's voice, either her mother was so shocked or she didn't consider it important enough to disguise her reaction; yet it was the most open expression Fallon could remember seeing. During her stay Alexis had always been the one pulling the strings, always one step in front of her, and for Fallon who was not used to be outmanoeuvred it had been a uncomfortable position to be in.

"I didn't know you had kept up with your painting?" Her mother's voice was surprisingly soft as she spoke, and for a moment Fallon thought she saw a wisp of hopefulness in her voice. "I always thought you had great potential…"

"I haven't, it's a stupid waste of time." Fallon's reply was blunt and her eyes hard tearing her gaze away from the almost comfortable moment, squashing down the memories that had bubbled up; of toddling after this elegant waif of a woman whose soft words of encouragement and elegant perfume made her feel loved and special. Of afternoons spent lounging in a sunlit room playing feet away from her mother, or even better the times when Mummy would pull her up on to her hip and let her take a turn with the brush…

"Fallon…" The same soft honeyed voice was at her elbow now; the same familiar perfume flooded her senses, as a warm hand reached out and touched her arm. "Nothing you love doing is ever stupid. Don't you remember what I used to tell you when you were a little girl, it doesn't matter what other people think, if something brings you joy then embrace it and never let it go."

For a moment Fallon stood transfixed, the eight year old inside her was reaching up waiting for Mummy to pick her up and make it all better, to kiss and cuddle the hurt away. Yet Mummy couldn't make this all better, nothing could, certainly not the platitudes fed to ignorant children.

Wrenching her arm away Fallon backed up, pretending she was imagining the look of pain in her mother's eyes. "Yeah well just look how well that philosophy has served you! Your selfishness did this; this is all your fault!"

"Fallon…"

Backing away from Alexis's outstretched hand Fallon stumbled over the steps, the urge to flee building, anything to get away from this woman and the long repressed memories her presence uncovered. It was just too hard, too painful to remember that once upon a time Fallon had known what it was to be happy and content, it just made everything worse.

"Leave me alone Mother! I would think by now you would be more than proficient!"


	4. Chapter 4

Yet Alexis hadn't left her alone…Alexis not mother, never mother…that had been a momentary slip. A telling slip according to her shrink…not that Fallon listened to a thing that old man said.

God that man was almost as annoying as that woman who had once called herself her mother. It was almost as though Alexis had gone out of her way to find the most annoying man possible. He had to be at least a hundred years old. His head was tiny like a wizened walnut and the only place he had any hair was sprouting out of his nose. It was typical that M….Alexis had managed to find the only old ugly Italian to be her psychiatrist.

Yet despite his age and the glasses he wore perched on the end of his nose Fallon knew there was little that escaped those dark little eyes. During their daily sessions Fallon felt as though her very soul was being stripped bare and examined. Even if she sat there and refused to speak, which happened more often than not, Fallon still felt as though her many secrets were being exposed.

Still she had taken it all in her stride…the stares…the attempts to get her talk…the endless questioning until…

Until he mentioned the baby…

God knows how anyone had found out about that. It was supposed to have been confidential. That Fallon was certain Peter had insisted on and weren't the Swiss bound by all that confidentially bullshit?

At first she had been too shocked to react, her feelings bubbling up. Her guilt. Her shame. Her…relief…

"Tell me Fallon was the abortion your idea or was it Mr De'Vilbus's?"

Then she snapped. First it had been the cushion behind her back, then her shoe, then everything and everything she had been able to lay her hands on. She had screamed herself horse and for a moment the old man had actually looked afraid….afraid of her and the feeling of power was overwhelming.

Yet like everything it was fleeting.

One moment she had the upper hand, the next the door opened and in stormed two of the house boys…Paolo and…she hadn't caught the other ones name even if she had caught him watching her occasionally when she was permitted to wander through the grounds. Still despite his interest it didn't stop him holding her down as the doctor filled a syringe with a clear solution.

It was the one time Fallon was actually relieved to see her m…Alexis.

Obviously alerted by the loud noises the former Mrs Carrington was still tying her robe as she strode into the room. Thick black curls messy and tussled from being roused suddenly sleep.

"What the hell is going on here?"

As if startled by the sudden appearance of his employer, especially in such a state of undress the Doctor didn't know quite where to look, glancing between the negligée clad Alexis and where Fallon was being held on the floor. "I am sorry Madam but she became violent I have no other choice…"

"My daughter is recovering from a drug problem and now you are going to drug her?"

"Madam I have no choice…" The headshrinker exclaimed.

"No!" Alexis insisted her emerald eyes blazing moving to stand between her daughter and the doctor. "I won't allow it!"

"Madam please; we have discussed this, your daughter is a risk to both herself and those around her, and it is still my belief that she would recover quicker in…other surroundings."

"I already said no!" Alexis added her eyes narrowing as she waved both Paolo and the other boy to release her daughter who was so surprised by her mother's interference she actually remained down on the floor.

"I will not commit my own child and if this is your idea of helping my daughter then suggest you pack up your little black bag and leave! Before I take the time to shove it somewhere you might find difficult to reach!"

The doctor seemed to take her mother's threat seriously and with a barely restrained huff he packed up his bag and with as much dignity as he could muster tottered out of the door followed by the houseboys.

For a moment Fallon stayed down on the floor unable to believe what she had heard and seen. And although it choked her and for a moment the words stuck in her throat it was a sobering thought to realise that the only thing standing between her and a padded cell was the woman who had abandoned her a child yet who for whatever reason wasn't walking away now.

"Thank you." The words sounded rough and foreign to her own ears and clearly they startled Alexis who had sank onto the chaise and seemed to have momentarily forgotten she was there.

"What do you want me to do Fallon? I am quickly running out of options…You won't talk to me, you won't talk to Doctor Costa but things can't go on like this…"

The question surprised Fallon and she had no immediate answer. Even when her mother turned to gaze down at her Fallon couldn't help but feel like the small child who had been caught in her mother's closet, her sticky fingers having ruined several of her one of a kind dresses.

"Do you want me to call your Father?"

Biting lip Fallon could only shake her head trying to suppress the tears that threatened and failing.

Unbidden they spilled down her cheek as the anger and rage turned to pain and exhaustion. When her mother sank down beside her Fallon resisted her mother's initial attempts at comfort. Eventually though the need for comfort outweighed even Fallon's objections over who was providing it.

Sinking into her mother's warm embrace, inhaling her perfume it was almost possible to pretend that this hurt was nothing more than a childish nightmare; a terrible dream that her mother's soft words and gentle caress could sooth away.

"Baby…Fallon…Please talk to me…There is nothing you can tell me that would make me love you any less…dear god I've probably done far worse."

Shaking her head Fallon couldn't contain the scream that clawed at her throat. The terrible truth despite her mother's many faults Fallon doubted that murder was one of them. "No…No you haven't."


End file.
